Today was a special day.
It actually has nothing to do with the Inauguration!
Don’t get me wrong now, I 100% cried when I saw Kamala Harris officially become the Vice President, but that is not why today was a special day.
One year ago today, I made a decision to wait until marriage to have sex again.
At first, I was sure I’d end up breaking my promise to God. After all, I’d been ‘celibate’ before. Before this year, the longest I lasted was a whole two weeks. Two weeks.
I was never reliant enough on God to believe that I could accomplish something like this. Last year showed me that if nothing else goes right, God is still faithful.
After making my promise, I purchased a ring that I would wear on my left ring finger. This was a visual reminder that my pledge was more in-depth than gaining a clear mind. My promise was a contract between God and me that would only be fulfilled on my wedding night.
Despite the pandemic raging around me, I was definitely tempted over the past year. I ended up severing ties with some guy friends and even distancing myself from some girlfriends. I had to surround myself with people who knew my goal and would push me toward success each day.
I allowed God to work on my heart. Over time my physical desires weakened, and I focused more on my relationship with God and close friends.
Then August rolled around, and I experienced the most significant test to my commitment.
I met my now boyfriend at my cousin’s wedding. After the reception and a fascinating public excursion, I went with him to grab a speaker from his hotel room, a very innocent activity.
As I watched him rummage for the speaker, I was slammed with emotions and feelings I hadn’t felt in months. It felt like I was under attack!
My mind began to race, my heart began to pump faster, and my palms got clammy.
“No one would know but you and him.” The silky voice of the enemy filled my mind. “It would be just like old times.”
I won’t lie, I contemplated it. The voice was, partially, right. None of our friends or family would know. That is how the enemy gets us. He gives us half-truths and conveniently overlooks the rest of the story.
“God would know,” I told that smooth voice.
At that moment, the weight of the temptation fell off of me. We ended up talking and hanging out until 4am. If I had allowed that temptation to overtake me, I do not believe we would be dating today. I think that our conversation laid the foundation for the relationship with have today.
Do I think celibacy is a sure-fire way to meet a partner? Not at all! I don’t want y’all to believe that is what I’m saying. What I am saying, however, is that sin can 100% keep you from something that God already had lined up for you. I fully believe that I would’ve missed out on the opportunity to get to know my sweet if we had willfully fallen into temptation.
So today, January 20, 2021, I honor myself. I am remarkably proud of myself, and I give 100% of the glory to God.
As I embark on this next year of life, I am met with a lot of uncertainty about … well, a lot. My plate is way too full to sample another dish.
One thing that I am sure of is that I will continue to abstain from sex.
I will continue to avoid situations that could lead me into temptation.
I will continue to pray for strength.