is Egypt still in you?

So I have this thing that I do and before I share it, yes I know it’s not a good thing at all.

So if a situation comes up where I have an opportunity to sin, I’ll tell God “oh this is the last time” and just … sin.

And frankly it’s a double whammy because I’m just telling God that I’m going to sin and lying to God because I know it’ll probably happen again.

As I read the Old Testament I’m consistently drawn to the Israelites being so fickle and always turning away from God. I was so confused about how they could see the literal presence of God in the desert and still turn around to create a golden idol.

God delivered on His promise and freed His people from the bondage of Egypt. They were no longer enslaved but the practices of Egypt were so ingrained in them that they couldn’t wait 40 days for Moses to return with God’s rules.

But I look at my life and I hang my head in shame. God has delivered me from so much but I sometimes desire and submit to the temptations of my own Egypt.

You know the verse that says God will never allow us to be tempted more then we can resist? If you don’t, it’s 1 Corinthians 10:13 NIV and It reads “No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to mankind. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can endure it.”

I bring up that verse because I told someone recently that I wasn’t sure if I ever saw the way out God was providing. Next thing I knew, the Holy Spirit revealed to me that I was simply ignoring the voice of God giving me a way out.

Now I can hear God’s voice loud and clear, which makes me running back to my Egypt less of falling into sin and more of a willful disobedience to God.

As I write this, I am a little emotional because I am overly aware of the way God loves me and the way that I have disrespected Him many times over.

I felt God guiding me to read Ezekiel and one thing that has stood out to me so far is the way God gave the Israelites countless before He allowed His wrath to boil over and flow onto them. Now, more than ever, I see myself in the Israelites. I see myself as someone who has abused grace more times than she can count.

But God never lost count.

And I am now aware that the next time I do that one sin, God could chose let the full consequences of my actions fall onto me. And so while I think Ezekiel is an incredible book to build my faith and strengthen my relationship with God, I think it is also a warning that God will one day, should I choose to ignore the warnings of His Spirit, give me over to my sin like it says in Romans 1:24.

I don’t want that. I don’t want the cycle of sexual sin and lies to rule my life again. I don’t want the fire of gossip and cussing to control my tongue. I don’t want the idolatry of marriage and dating to control my thoughts again.

Has God delivered me from so much? Absolutely! Do I still try to run back into my proverbial Egypt when I don’t trust Him? Yes.

So as this convicted me, it is my prayer that whoever reads this would allow God to fully and finally deliver them from their Egypt. It is my prayer that you would see God’s grace as enough and that His track record would always been enough to consider Him worthy of being trusted.

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