Trigger Warning: Suicidal Ideation In August of 2019, I wanted to die. I just couldn’t go on anymore. I locked myself in the bathroom and stared at myself in the mirror. Curious about what my parents would find in the morning. Curious about the conversation they’d have with my sisters and brother. Curious about how… Continue reading I saw a victory
Tag: raw
is Egypt still in you?
So I have this thing that I do and before I share it, yes I know it’s not a good thing at all. So if a situation comes up where I have an opportunity to sin, I’ll tell God “oh this is the last time” and just … sin. And frankly it’s a double whammy… Continue reading is Egypt still in you?
Cycles
See, the devil, he learns from your mistakes ... even if you dont.Cycles - Jonathan McReynolds The first time I heard this song, my mind was blown. Not just by the artistry of the lyrics but by the way it grabbed my bleeding heart and tightened its grip until I couldn't take it. Apparently, the… Continue reading Cycles
you must enter a relationship with yourself before anyone else
I wrote this piece in the winter of 2017. This piece has always meant so much to me because it was the first time I started to associate sex with how harmful it truly is when it is had outside of marriage. It took a few years for me to really get it though. I've… Continue reading you must enter a relationship with yourself before anyone else
clearing out the house
Like most of my posts, I’m admitting a lot of things. This is actually one of the hardest posts I've written in a while because I'm purging some deeply internalized things. I recently found out that another friend is moving into a stage of life that I so desperately desire. I'm actually so happy for… Continue reading clearing out the house
transparency time Tuesday
It probably has everything to do with the way I grew up, but I feel like I am a bother to literally everyone. As I age, I move further away from the unkind words and actions of bullies and family, but the pain that birthed hesitation never left. I am genuinely fearful, at all times,… Continue reading transparency time Tuesday
how to be friends with a survivor
This post mentions sexual assault and domestic violence. Hi everyone! As always, thanks for coming back. I’m honestly just going to jump right in. I saw an acquaintance recently and while we were catching up, they reached out and touched me without giving me a heads up. Now, I’ve kind of always hated being touched… Continue reading how to be friends with a survivor
why I’m done dating for the time being
A few weeks ago I got dumped (for the second time in a year). You know what makes it worse? We were never official. He was just a man that I really liked and we slept together enough times for me to confuse lust with feelings deeper than like. Today we had a long conversation… Continue reading why I’m done dating for the time being
when I kept running
TRIGGER WARNING: Hi friends I wanted to let y'all know that this post mentions anxiety, severe depression, sexual assault, rape and suicide. If you are not in a place to read about these topics, please protect yourself and do not read this post. Your mental health is important to me. I had an entirely different plan for… Continue reading when I kept running